Think Outside of the Box

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.... :
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This is a moral / ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first:

* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 application) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what.....

He simply answered :

" I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box"

Happiness

My daughter...

When God created my daughter, he took very special care
To find the precious treasures that would make her sweet and fair...

He gave her smiles of angels, then explored the midnight skies
And took a bit of stardust to make bright and twinkling eyes...

He fashioned her from sugar and a little bit of spice
He gave her sunny laughter and everything that is nice...

God smiled when he made daughters, because he knew he had
Created love and happiness for every mom and dad!

The woman in your life...

When you marry a working woman, you should marry with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't,as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives nospecial concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost asmuch as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home,your family, your ways and even your family name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while yousleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen ;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cookfood at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to;and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her;and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding,or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those,who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burnersto avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't,simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire lifea grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house -your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

How truely do guys understand and respect these facts?

You are...

One of the many email forwards that I received a while ago was this link to a Personality Analysis website. Inquisitive at first, I decided to see what kind of results it gave. It took me through this 10-15 min Q&A session that eventually ended with a detailed report of my personality type... more humorous to read if not anything else.

'You are an Attentive Realist' it said. :)

You are a Realist.

• Your attention to detail, appreciation of how things function, and awareness of the world around you make you a REALIST.
• Routines are reassuring to you - you feel safer and more at ease when sticking with familiar things.
• You like to stay close with those around you, seeking comfort from familiar faces.
• You are interested in processes - how things work, what they do, and why - not just how things look.
• Sometimes you doubt that you can find solutions to problems, although you have a good sense of why things happen, and can use that knowledge to find the best way to do something.
• You are down to earth, concerned more with practical, detail-oriented things than with dreamy or ambiguous ideas.
• You have a good sense of your abilities and weaknesses, and don't let your ego get in your way.
• You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.
• You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
• You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.
• You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.
• Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different

• Appreciate that your skill set can be useful in many ways; your attention to detail and your familiarity with the inner - workings of things are valuable assets.
• Try looking beyond the earthly qualities of things in order to expand your perspective, without losing your grounding in reality.

How you relate to others

You are Attentive - (Thank you for that :))

• Because you like spending time with others, understand their feelings, and often know what is best for them, you are ATTENTIVE.
• Some people are merely concerned about others, but you take action, helping people when you have the opportunity.
• Although you care about others, you are hesitant to trust them to act in the best way on their own.
• You don't let your concerns with people go unnoticed: if someone has hurt your feelings, that person will hear about it.
• People energize and excite you - you are able to have fun and be yourself when you're around others.
• You also learn a lot about yourself by talking things out with people, even if you don't always share things that are important to you.
• You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and you're not hesitant to express yourself.
  Understanding the dynamics of a situation is an important skill that you have, and you often intervene to clarify things for others.
• You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.
• You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
• You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.
• You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.
• Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different

• You care about people, but finding the ones you can truly trust will allow you to get closer to them.
• While you have strong opinions about what is right and wrong in the world, you risk coming across as judgmental - be sure to consider different perspectives when voicing your opinion.

Personality Chart

This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than you did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than you did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users.

PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

I recently attended a 2 day seminar on Team Building - that focused towards healthy Team Leading/Building at work. Additionally, it taught me a few other philosophies of life which I could very well apply in my personal life too.

Conflict Management
You are in discussion with a person about something that you feel is important and there is a disagreement; the CONFLICT.
How would you handle the situation? What is your style of managing conflicts?
Turtle: One who withdraws into a shell to avoid the conflict?
Shark: Try to overpower the opponent by forcing them to accept your solution to the conflict?Teddy Bear: Try to smooth over the conflict out of fear of harming the relationship with the other person.
Fox: Willing to sacrifice part of the goal and the relationship in order to find agreement for the common good.
Owl: Try to discuss and identify a solution which will satisfy both u and the other person.

Patterns
Each one of us has a pattern of our own and we are more often than never stuck in it. No matter how hard you try, you will still end up back into your behavioral pattern. We need to break these in order for us to grow in life and move on.

Emotions
Situations are ruled by emotions. You need to put a hold on your emotions and not let them control your decision and mind.

How can I change my behavior? How to change life? How break a bad habit?
In order to solve problems, you need to be active and this often involves changing your habits and ways of thinking.
For example, you may want to reduce your weight, find a better job, complete a difficult task, or change your relations to other people.

These problems are difficult and extensive. It might help to divide them into a number of smaller objectives, begin with the one that comes first and then set new objectives. Each objective must be clearly defined and more importantly for me 'ACHIEVABLE'.It might be wise not to demand perfection from yourself.
You could, for example, decide to exercise 30 minutes at least five days a week instead of 30 minutes a day.
That gives you the possibility to succeed even if you don't manage to do it every day.If you want to achieve a big change, it can be a good idea to divide it into a series of small short-time sub goals, which step by step will bring you closer to your final goal. It is often easier to make small changes, one at a time, than large changes in your way of living.
It is obvious that this approach can be applied to almost anything you want to do. The most important part is to stop lying to yourself and finding reasons for not doing things. Setup a system and stick to it.

Problem solving
The presenter of the seminar gave us a very good example.

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see; asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?'

'50gms!' .... '100gms!' ......'125gms' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, ‘but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'

'Nothing' the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?‘ the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'

'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress; paralysis;Have to go to hospital for sure!’ ventured another student;
all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change? ' asked the professor.
'No' the students said.
Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?' The students were puzzled.

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'

Remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!' :)
Be HAPPY always....

Happy 60th Independence Day

Proud to be Indian

Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.
It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able,
Can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious gift.
~ Mahatma Gandhi


Unleash Freedom

Long years ago, we made a tryst with destiny and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge... At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to like and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance... We end today a period of ill fortune, and India discovers herself again.
~ Jawaharlal Nehru, on the eve of Independence


If there is one place on the face of the earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it Is India!
~ French scholar Romaine Rolland

सारे जहाँ से अच्छा
हिन्दूस्तान हमारा
हम बुलबुलें हैं इसकी

ये गुलसितां हमारा

Embrace the spirit of freedom.

Happy Friendship Day

We celebrated Friendship day a couple of days ago, just like we do every year. I often ask myself though: Is any single day going to be any different from the rest? Every day must be Friendship day... to make new friends and strengthen bonds with old. Time spent with a friend is a celebration and the memory a timeless treasure.

A Friend: That one special person who makes life a bit easier by just being there and listening to you. That one special person that gives you the strength and courage at those times when you most needed it. One who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
My hubby has a T-shirt which reads "True friends are those who stab you in the front" ... need I say more ?

Friendship: A special bond between two people. A bond that time cannot break. This true friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.




Cheers to Friends and Friendship !

The Stranger

She was getting engaged, and all I could do was stand by and applaud along with the rest. I did not dare to open my mouth for the fear of saying something stupid, something like 'I LOVE YOU'.

I remember the other day when she had come to me with red eyes. Her 'best friend' was going away. It had never mattered to me that her best friend was a guy. I thought I was above such things... but her tears awoke the sin of jealousy in my heart. Fighting it, I had consoled her and given her chocolates to eat. She proceeded to rest her head in the crook of my arm, and promptly fell asleep. I chuckled at her baby-like innocence.
But now, as I applauded, I felt something stabbing at my heart.

She was getting married.
I saw her come down the stairs decked out in her bridal finery. Never had I seen her looking this pretty. I saw her taking the seven rounds around the sacred fire with the man I had come to hate earlier; holding his hand. I saw her exchanging garlands with him. She was a stranger to me now.

As I stood near the car, they both came over to me. I wondered what they wanted. I wondered how to say Farewell to the departed. Nevertheless, I blessed them. She was openly crying. I told her not to worry, that I'll always be there for her. She responded by hugging me and said "I love you dad" ...

... And I could not stop the tears in my eyes any more.

Do you wish for Shortcuts ?

**5 minutes ago you were traveling to office at 80 mph in your brand new car.
Now you are traveling to hospital at double the speed in an Ambulance, you wish there was 'undo (ctrl + Z)' in life!

**You are already late, and your key is missing, you wish there was 'find tool (ctrl+F)' in life!

**You are a bankrupt, after investing in some weird business, you wish there was 'rebuild all' in life!

**The train is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end,
You wish there was 'zoom & view full screen’ in life!

**After marriage you realize that there is bound to be a mismatch,
You wish there was an ‘evaluation period' or at least a 'sample download' or a 'demo version'!

**One day you realize that you are turning bald,
You wish there was 'cut and paste (ctrl + X), (ctrl + C)' in life!

**The best part of the keyboard is U & I are together which is not always there in life......

Control your emotions, let them not control you!

A very interesting article which has helped me change my perspective towards life... controlling emotions!


The 90/10 principle - by Stephan Covey

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How?
By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction.

Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D". You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!!!

The Mind, Heart and Me...

I read friends' blogs regularly... and it amazes me to see how much interesting stuff they have to write/comment about, more often than never! How they find the patience to sit and pen all of that down and have readers enjoy their blogs over and over again.
All very inspiring!!

Now, although I am not much of a writer, I thought... what the heck! Let me try my hand at it as well. To me 'tis all about expressing the Mind, Heart and Soul.. and the rest will follow.

I will try and put forth my words, thoughts and emotions through my blogs. Hope they'll be as interesting to the reader as they are to me.

To start with, a favorite poem of mine since school... read on!

Where the Mind is without Fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action;

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Cheers!